14 Sep 7 tips on building your child’s confidence
Your daily interactions with your child can really make a difference to their self confidence. But how can we make sure that we don’t inhibit the growth and development of their own sense of self worth? Here is our comprehensive guide to raising confident children.
1. Model self-love
This is something that will be beneficial for you too. Exercise self-love by talking about your good qualities and strengths. Instead of focusing on any mistakes or failures, talk about what you learned from them and what you intend to do next time. Celebrate your successes and discuss, together with your kids, the different skills, talents and the effort that allowed you to achieve these things. This will organically allow your child to realise their own talents and skills and bring about a natural speculation of what they themselves could achieve.
2. Set realistic goals and expectations
It’s fine for your children to have huge dreams, but realistic goals are what need to be actively focused on. Without crushing your child’s dream of being an olympic swimmer on the first swimming lesson, encourage them to set a goal for what they will be able to do by the end of the week or month. As well as helping to avoid feelings of disappointment or failure, setting reachable goals will also help to build their confidence step by step through each achievement.
3. Teach resilience
Teaching your child to pick themselves back up again after each little setback is invaluable. Letting them experience those feelings that come with failure is important too. In order to be proud of an achievement, a child must know how to get over a failure. It is also essential that they know that failure is normal, happens to everyone and will happen a few times in their life. Put all the focus on what they can do to improve next time, and how the real goal is to better yourself each time, and not always to succeed.
4. Let them take (healthy) risks
Even though you have the life experience which they do not yet have, it is important to let them try things out for themselves. This will not only prepare them for real life in the future, but also will help them develop problem solving skills when what they tried to do (possibly) goes wrong. Do not prevent them from doing absolutely everything risky, just make sure that you are there for them when they need help or advice. Giving them some freedom to make their own choices will empower them and do wonders for their confidence.
5. Show them their contribution is valuable
The best thing that you can do for your kids is to stop doing so much for them. As they become capable, give them appropriate responsibilities for their ability. If you always clean up after them, make their food and do their laundry then they will never put value on their own contribution. Putting value on their own contribution for even the smallest chores will reflect greatly in their confidence later on in their lives. Children who do more for themselves grow up feeling more secure about their value in the world.
6. Offer appropritate praise
Positive feedback and praise is important because children initially judge how good something they do is based on how much you praise them for it. This makes praise extremely powerful, and therefore it is essential that you are realistic with your praise. If a young child is measuring their achievement according to the praise they recieve, then we must not set unrealistic standards. Offering appropriate praise which focuses on the effort that they have put into something rather than the result will them a better sense of self worth, even when they don’t succeed.
7. Make your unconditional love clear
It is essential that your child knows that you love them unconditionally! There is a fine line between giving praise and showing love only when your child succeeds at something. Supporting them towards their biggest goals is important, but if all you focus on is their achievements, then your child will see their achievements as the reasons that you love them. Support their efforts, pick them up when they fall down and help them have the confidence in themselves to try and try again.
It is important to help your children discover, develop and cherish their unique qualities and talents. Help them feel special giving them every opportunity reach their own goals. Your love and support will always be of great value, and the power of it should never be underestimated.
Written by Kelly Lindsey Abel